Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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