there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
