dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
