lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
