five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Randomize
