i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
