I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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