my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You took a bar mat shot.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The power of my boobs compel you
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
