break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
