I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
