Can Purell be used as lube?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
