Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
