what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
