At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
time to smoke my breakfast
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
