Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
