i permit you to call me
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
