How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
