I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
