end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
NoShamevember. You game?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
