and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
