if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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