4 words: hood of his car
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
