If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
