ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
