can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
wow bdsm is so cute
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
