if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
