Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So vagazzling was a success
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
