You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
