wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
