Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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