Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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