i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
