Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
