You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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