My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
