not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
