ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Congratulations! We have a period
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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