Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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