i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
