Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
