Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
