If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
