I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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