Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
