During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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