Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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