the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
