I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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