i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
