It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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