he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
