if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
