I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
