That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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