people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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