She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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